Bill Clinton praises daughter Chelsea Clinton as “intelligent,” “kind,” without reference to her breasts

LITTLE ROCK – At a Clinton Foundation fundraiser, Clinton’s husband and former U.S. President Bill, praised his daughter Chelsea, Vice Chair of the Foundation for being “one of the most intelligent women” he knows.  Chelsea recently secured the largest grant on record for reproductive health research.  

Politicos are shocked by this demonstration of paternal respect, and reporters are disheartened by Bill’s clearly accidental omission of information about Chelsea’s breasts, glutes and beauty.

Dean Baquet, Executive Editor of the New York Times, found Bill’s assertion that Chelsea is “extraordinarily kind and compassionate, the kind of change-maker this country needs” particularly boring.

“It just doesn’t drive reader interest,” Baquet said. He is hoping incestuous undertones soon return to politics.