Disillusion, shock quakes Republicans on discovering Melania Trump was "an immigrant the whole time"

Disillusion, shock quakes Republicans on discovering Melania Trump was "an immigrant the whole time"

Washington D.C. - Republicans everywhere are turning against Melania Trump, wife of the failed GOP presidential contender Donald Trump, in wake of the startling revelation that she is an immigrant. “I thought she was just a normal American, just maybe a prettier one,” Rick from Atlanta said, “I dunno if I would have voted for Trump if I’d known he actually liked immigrants.”

When asked why it took them this long to realize that she was an immigrant, Republicans cited confusion over the definition of “immigrant.” 

"I didn't realize immigrants could be naked white women too," said Barry Waters, wearing a "Build the Wall!" t-shirt.

In a statement, Melania Trump responded that she grew up in Chicago, attended Princeton, and Harvard Law School. Reporters noticed similarities to the bio section of a Wikipedia article about former First Lady Michelle Obama.

Women of America feel ...respected?

Women of America feel ...respected?

CEO Lloyd Blankfein abruptly quits Goldman Sachs to pursue bee-keeping, closer friendship with Oprah

CEO Lloyd Blankfein abruptly quits Goldman Sachs to pursue bee-keeping, closer friendship with Oprah