Hillary Beat Trump
Pro-lifers disavow clinic bombings: “We finally see the irony”

Pro-lifers disavow clinic bombings: “We finally see the irony”

WICHITA -- In a dramatic turn of events, Mary Turner, the embattled president of Pro-Life Kansas, announced Tuesday that going forward, the organization will no longer assassinate doctors who perform abortions or bomb clinics that provide abortions.

Turner said that in 2017, the group’s favorite political tactic - domestic terrorism - seems “off message.”

“While we still believe sluts should be shamed then stoned to death, we also believe it’s wrong to kill God’s creations,” Turner told Kay Humphrey, host of the popular Christian radio show Praise Jesus and Burn the Witch.

“The big question was whether God created sluts. We turned to scripture, and found out, sure enough, he did!”

Happily unemployed actor Alec Baldwin says he wishes SNL would call him for “old times’ sake”

Happily unemployed actor Alec Baldwin says he wishes SNL would call him for “old times’ sake”

New York Times’ editor acknowledges paper's "irrational hatred of Hillary Clinton" has gotten out of hand, staff enters 12-step program

New York Times’ editor acknowledges paper's "irrational hatred of Hillary Clinton" has gotten out of hand, staff enters 12-step program