Public bewildered after Trump calls Harry Potter his "favorite living American"
MOSCOW -- On Friday, failed presidential candidate Donald Trump shocked reporters by declaring Harry Potter his "favorite living American" in an interview conducted by Lester Holt in the former reality TV star's Moscow hotel room.
When Holt told Trump that Harry Potter is in fact neither living nor American but fictional and British, Trump accused the media of being unpatriotic, saying, "Harry Potter is definitely American. I've seen his birth certificate," assuring Holt that his good friend Frederick Douglass would "back me up."
"We know what's going on. I have great facts. The best facts of all time. I'm an incredible reader," he said.
Holt, aghast, countered that Harry Potter is "definitely not a real person, because he's a boy wizard invented by the Pulitzer Prize-winning British author J.K. Rowling."
Trump angrily interrupted, insisting that "fake news journalists" are bent on making him out to be stupider than he really is, especially TV news stations that unfairly show footage of him talking.
"I'm a very smart person. I went to an Ivy League college! I'm president of the United States!" he yelled.
In a brilliant moment of live fact-checking, Holt calmly corrected Trump, saying, "No, sir, you're wrong. You lost November's election to President Hillary Rodham Clinton by over 3 million votes. You're a failed Russian puppet whose meanness and ignorance is reminiscent of Dudley Dursley's. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton is a clearly a Gryffindor in the ingenius, brave and hardworking tradition of the muggle witch, Hermione Granger," he said.
"She's a witch! Burn the witch! Kill all mudbloods!" Trump cried out.