Susan Sarandon retires from politics to overwhelming applause
LOS ANGELES -- Susan Sarandon tearfully announced her retirement from Democratic Party politics via Twitter on Thursday, saying she intends to "embrace professional acting full-time going forward."
Though Sarandon was tearful, the announcement was met with overwhelming applause from Democrats across the Internet, where Sarandon gained fame in 2016 for being loudly, obnoxiously, and self-righteously wrong about everything to do with the progressive movement.
In a press release, Sarandon thanked her Bernie Bro Twitter followers for allowing her to play "a role I'd never played before: that of a privileged white woman who considers herself more radical, progressive and liberal than every other member of the Democratic Party, and a lefty dilettante who loves positioning herself as being the moral superior of feminist icon Hillary Clinton."
Indeed, as a Democratic Party activist, Sarandon will be remembered for being especially, painfully, and constantly wrong about President Hillary Rodham Clinton, who Sarandon refused to support even after Clinton easily squashed Sarandon's preferred candidate Sen. Bernie Sanders by a 3-million vote margin in the Democratic primaries.
During the general election, when Clinton faced off against arguably the worst and most dangerous candidate for President in U.S. history, Sarandon switched her support from Bernie to Green Party candidate and Vladimir Putin enthusiast Jill Stein.
Earlier this week, President Clinton, who just raised the federal minimum wage to $12, told supporters of Sanders and Stein that she harbored "no hard feelings." It's unclear if Clinton's graceful olive branch will soothe the Stein/Sanders holdouts who are still insisting that a Trump presidency "would have been no different."