Prisons find new relevance as millennial work retreats

Colorado Springs, CO — Since President Hillary Rodham Clinton took office in January, private prisons - once a boom industry - have come under fire.

Clinton is widely expected to change federal sentencing guidelines, which she repeatedly characterized as contributing to “systemic racism” on the campaign trail.

Denied a steady stream of young black males, prisons are focusing on a new population demographic: college educated millenials. 

Attracted by affordable rents, no Wifi and the ironic novelty of bunk beds, millenials are increasingly embracing prisons as the ideal work retreats.  

“There’s no Internet and my mom is back in Brooklyn, so it’s an ideal place to finish War and Peace” said Tom Hardy, a 23-year-old University of Chicago graduate who majored in literature.