In phone call, Clinton fails to alienate entire Australian continent

In phone call, Clinton fails to alienate entire Australian continent

SYDNEY -- State Department sources are saying President Hillary Rodham Clinton’s first call with Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull was a rousing success. 

The call went nearly an hour over its scheduled end, with the world leaders bonding over their shared love of rugby, barbecues and avocado toast after a raucous discussion of matters of state, according to Bloomberg News' Max Abelson.   

Indeed, one state department staffer who listened in on the phone call described Clinton as a "diplomatic genius," according to Bloomberg.

"It was a masterclass in interpersonal communication. Clinton spoke knowledgeably and respectfully about Australia, characterized the country as a 'critical American ally,' and went so far say things like 'please' and 'thank you' to Prime Minister Turnbull," the aide told Bloomberg. "Not once did the President interrupt the Australian Prime Minister to berate him for being less handsome than Putin. I've never seen anything like it," she said.

Clinton and Turnbull apparently ended their call by solidifying plans to jointly adopt two endangered koalas with their personal funds.

White House sources have not confirmed when the adoption is to take place, but one furry creature is rumoured to be taking the name “Steve” after beloved Australian T.V. personality and environmentalist Steve Irwin. The other’s name will be "Shonda," after Clinton's favorite TV creator, Shonda Rhimes.

 

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