Bill Clinton throws himself into role as First Gentleman
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- First Gentleman Bill Clinton was spotted earlier today fussing over the drapes in the Oval Office. East Wing staffers report that in the past week, the First Dude – who has a surprising knack for interior design – has oft paced back and forth in front of the existing drapery, earning him the occasional scolding from his wife, President Hillary Rodham Clinton, the the leader of the free world.
“I just don’t understand why we must have this putrid, muted gold-shade,” Bill said. “It’s so antiquated, so falsely austere. I want something cleaner, more modern.”
Bill is considering a jade green sateen drape with white lace curtains to filter in a gentle light.
“Jade is more ‘this moment’ you know? It’s close to the Pantone color of the year for 2013, which was emerald, if you don’t remember. I want to be on trend, but not, you know, trendy. This is the White House, after all,” Bill said.
Bill’s next project is to upgrade the wallpapering in most of the White House, as he finds wallpaper “tacky and outdated.”