After 15 qualified female Supreme Court nominees, GOP begs for Merrick Garland
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While President Hillary Rodham Clinton has successfully nominated former President Barack Obama to fill the Supreme Court seat vacated by Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Antonin Scalia’s seat remains controversial. GOP members are finally crying “mercy” after Clinton's fifteenth consecutive nomination of an amply qualified female federal judge to fill the vacancy.
“Just give us Merrick Garland,” begged Paul Ryan. “He’s a great guy. If President Clinton would consider nominating him, I’m sure members of Congress from both parties would quickly confirm him for the high court.”
Republicans were quick to clarify that they respect women. “The president’s recent nominees just don't seem to have the kind of authority we expect from a Supreme Court Justice,” explained Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. “Of course I spoke against confirming Judge Garland a few months ago, but he after taking some time to think about it, I think he's qualified. I strongly urge the president not to ignore such a great option. Please consider nominating Garland. Otherwise, she will be responsible for leaving the court under capacity."
“Now the GOP loves Merrick,” observed Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, “How about that?”
President Clinton held a brief press conference to comment on the issue. “To the Republican Members of Congress who continue to be the ‘Party of No,' I’d like to say this: you had your chance with President Obama, now you'll deal with me,” said Clinton, before dropping the microphone and exiting the room.