Obama changes his LinkedIn employer to "Shadow Government"
WASHINGTON D.C. -- On Saturday, Former President Barack Obama changed his LinkedIn employer to "Shadow Government."
Obama said President Hillary Rodham Clinton gave him the idea when they were taking celebratory tequila shots last weekend on his return from vacationing with Richard Branson.
“Just imagine the Breitbart headlines,” Clinton laughed, before letting Obama sneak out onto the Oval Office patio for an illicit cigarette.
Listed on his profile, Obama’s new responsibilities include:
- Installing and maintaining hidden cameras and microphones throughout the White House
- Releasing a precisely-dosed mind control agent through the White House ventilation system on a biweekly basis
- Controlling the White House's complicated lighting system so as to ensure that White House staffers cast more than one shadow at a time
- Impersonating the Vice Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff for continued access to highly classified national security information
To deepen the joke, the former president also left a mysterious review of his time at the White House on Glassdoor. Giving the organization 4 stars, he left just one comment: “Upper management pushed me out, but they haven’t seen the last of me.”
After uproar from right-wing media outlets, Presidents Hillary Clinton and Obama appeared on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert to set the record straight.
“Oh come on,” chuckled Obama. “It was just a little joke.”
“Deplorables will believe just about anything, won’t they?" said Clinton, deadpan. "At any rate, I have to get back to running the country."