Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick patrols elementary school's boys' toilets to enforce bathroom bill
AUSTIN -- After the controversial “Bathroom Bill” advanced to the full chamber of the Texas State Senate on Monday, Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick was impatient to take matters into his own cisgender hands. Confronted by reporters outside of the boys’ bathroom at Andrew Jackson Elementary School, Patrick said he intended to enforce the bill himself, "before it even becomes law."
“I’m going to watch these boys pee all day if I have to, just to be sure that no transgender girls come in here,” said Patrick. "It's not strange for me, a grown man, to insist that little boys show me their penises. I'm keeping them safe from gender fluidity!" he insisted.
When asked how he would know for sure if a post-transition transgender child was attempting to use the restroom, he said, “That's a good question...I hadn't thought about that." After a few pensive moments, he continued: "I may have to tell the kids to bring their birth certificates to school. They’ll use the bathroom corresponding to their biological sex, I’ll be sure of that.”
On Tuesday, before the bill left the Senate State Affairs Committee, over 200 people testified before the committee to express their opinions, including 198 people who strongly opposed the bill.
Two sex offender experts spoke in support of the bill, claiming that the status quo allows "animal rapists and pedophiles to assault children in bathrooms, and we would know."
The sex offender experts explained they are both currently listed on the sex offender registry.
At Andrew Jackson Elementary School, school administrators - though careful appear politically neutrality - seemed eager to eject ancient vigilante gender police from childrens' toilets.
“I have asked the Lieutenant Governor to leave the school premises,” Principal Judy Morelos told reporters, sighing.
When asked if she thought he posed a risk to students, she declined to comment. At that point, Morelos followed Patrick into the restroom, while another administrator asked all members of the press to immediately vacate the school premises.