Bernie Bros demand Hillarycare in record numbers
WOODSTOCK -- Despite backing the wrong presidential candidate, a group of fervent Bernie Sanders supporters is hoping to take full advantage of the health care opportunities now available to them under President Clinton.
“I was all for single-payer,” explained Sanders supporter Billy McDougal. “So when Bernie didn’t get the nomination I was crushed. I was so upset that I ended up voting for Jill Stein.”
“I came to agree with Bernie that the ACA was merely a modest achievement,” explained Roger Simpson. “The fact that we only had 91% of Americans covered rather than 100% just didn’t seem right. I blamed the establishment for that.” Simpson felt steamrolled by the Democratic primary results and ended up tossing a coin to decide between Gary Johnson and Vermin Supreme on Election Day.
Both McDougal and Simpson were crushed when Hillary Clinton was elected president. Despite Clinton's progressive campaign promises on ACA reform, the two even worried that they might actually lose their health care during her presidency.
“Everything I read on Wikileaks told me that Hillary Clinton would ruin America,” said McDougal. “I'm sure somewhere in her lost emails there existed a nefarious plan to take away our healthcare. Even Trump called her out on that.”
McDougal and Simpson were both pleasantly surprised to learn about President Clinton's plan to further expand the ACA to help cover all Americans. Specifically, Clinton hopes to work with state-based exchanges such as Vermont Health Connect, which would provide all Americans with better health care options in a new program that the media was referring to as ‘HillaryCare.’
“Yeah, if I had known I would have voted for her,” admitted Simpson. “Not my fault. Somebody should have told me sooner.”
Both Simpson and McDougal were able to consult with a HillaryCare representative who helped each of them sign up for affordable health care plans in less than ten minutes.