Known urine-enthusiast Donald Trump responds to Nunes leaks with erection
WASHINGTON D.C. -- On Friday, when the New York Times called Donald Trump to confirm reports that Rep. Devin Nunes leaked classified information showing the failed GOP presidential candidate been surveilled by the CIA, Trump responded with a rare erection, according to NYT reporter Maggie Haberman.
"This is the first time I've had this in years," Trump said from his Moscow hotel room.
While doctors say it's a medical miracle that Trump experienced sexual arousal in response to the words, "Russia," "leak," and "Devin Nunes," they urge most men who suffer from chronic erectile dysfunction to turn to more traditional treatments, like Viagra.
According to the New York Times, White House officials helped provide Nunes, a Republican and the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, with the intelligence reports that American spy agencies surveilled Trump and his campaign associates because they suspected him of collaborating with America's enemies.
Nunes, who is investigating Trump for conspiring with Russia to steal November's election from President Hillary Rodham Clinton, promptly told Trump about the surveillance.
Trump, in turn, told the world.
Nunes told the New York Times, he learned "everything" he knows about leaking from the Russian prostitutes who serviced failed presidential candidate and known urine-fetishist Donald Trump at Putin's behest in 2015.
"Trump loves golden showers. So I made it rain piss," he said.