Trump doubles down, accuses Obama of tapping Canadian Maples
MOSCOW -- Failed Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump dropped a bombshell allegation at his first Moscow press conference by claiming that former President Obama had secretly tapped Canadian maple trees during the syrup season of 2016.
The claim remains unsubstantiated but, if true, is also "incredibly irrelevant," according to high-ranking Clinton State Department officials.
Trump, speaking from behind a podium in the vacant lobby of the Kremlin Trump Hotel wore a hat of the style once worn by Napoleon throughout the entire statement.
“President Obama tapped a foreign country! That’s bad, right?” he said to the enthusiastic applause of RT reporters, several bellboys, and one concierge.
Trump then went on to state that this would be the worst presidential scandal since Watergate, though he offered no proof as to why.
Trump spokesperson Kellyanne Conway later added that, while Trump’s statement spoke for itself, this was further proof that Obama was born in Canada – a suggestion that caused political pundits across the nation to say, “Oh no! Not again!”
Some critics also believe the statement was meant to deflect attention from the latest ongoing investigation looking into whether orangutans have been hurt in the process of making Trump’s hair.
The ‘MapleSyrupGate’ claim was immediately refuted by Canadian Ambassador David MacNaughton after consulting with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, Canadian Border Services and several maple syrup producers associations.
“We have no evidence that President Obama and family visited Canada to tap our maple trees. If they did, however, that’s quite OK with us.”
When asked about the allegation, a spokesperson for Obama shook his head sadly.
As of press time, the desperate attention grab remains unproven.