Vice President Tim Kaine “doing great” after being unintentionally locked in White House bathroom for three days
WASHINGTON D.C. -- Vice President Tim Kaine confirmed to reporters this morning that the reason he showed up to yesterday’s morning briefing with President Hillary Clinton looking "extremely disheveled" was that he'd been unintentionally locked within a White House bathroom for the previous three days.
Kaine assured reporters, "I'm doing great. Don't worry about me!"
White House Press Secretary Leslie Jones could hardly keep back a smile as she laid out the timeline.
“On Friday evening, Kaine used one of the White House restrooms. Due to a series of mishaps, a mop fell down over the door handle, trapping him inside.”
She continued, “Unfortunately, nobody noticed he was gone. And while he had his cell phone with him, he drained the battery playing Angry Birds before he realized he needed help.”
Kaine was finally able to escape by attaching the emergency harmonica he keeps on his person at all times to his belt, snaking it under the door, and flicking it up to dislodge the mop.
From there, Kaine said he went directly to the briefing.
Jones said senior White House staff noticed something was amiss when Kaine entered the briefing slightly out of breath and loudly announced, “I’m here guys, I’m here. I made it. Don’t worry!”
Upon receiving a room of empty stares, he said: “Come on, didn’t anyone notice I was gone?”
Kaine had plenty of water in the bathroom, and said he enjoyed using the time to practice his harmonica skills and meditate.
“It was a great weekend, really,” said the magnanimous Kaine. “I’m doing great. I’ve got no complaints.”
No ill motives have been assigned to Kaine’s weekend in isolation, largely because nobody dislikes him.
“I feel rested, centered and ready to get back to work,” said Kaine.