Hillary Beat Trump
7-year-old hacker caught ghostwriting Trump's Twitter account

7-year-old hacker caught ghostwriting Trump's Twitter account

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Self-proclaimed “Hacker Genius” found herself in the center of a big news story after hacking into Donald Trump’s twitter account.

The hacker began her rampage by tweeting “I want a hot dog,” and then quickly following up with, “I am a hard worker, and I deserve a hot dog!” Later in the day, her hacking still unnoticed, the child tweeted, “HAHAHAHA I HAVE ALL THE BEST TOYS AND YOU LOSERS DON’T! SAD! I EVEN HAVE A LIGHTSABER!”

The lightsaber tweet inspired a CNN roundtable discussion in which political theorists debated whether Trump would have continued tweeting as childishly had he been elected President. Steve Bannon, a close confidant of Trump during his failed presidential campaign, questioned the panel: "What's the big deal? He wants a lightsaber. So did Darth Vader and the Emperor, and they were the most inspiring, powerful men in the whole Star Wars galaxy."

The public remained utterly unaware that the account had been compromised until two days later, when the child tweeted out a series of indisputable facts, correctly punctuated and spelled. Apparently reflecting on what she learned in school that day, the child tweeted "2x3=6," "I know how to spell Mississippi," and "Contraceptives lower the rate of abortion!"

Once discovered, the matter was quickly resolved. The real Donald Trump announced that he would be hiring cybersecurity experts to keep his social media accounts safe and sound. Sources from within Trump's camp suggest that their first step would be changing his password from "password" to literally anything else.

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