Hillary Beat Trump
After first 100 days, Clinton's approval rating soars to 91 percent

After first 100 days, Clinton's approval rating soars to 91 percent

WASHINGTON D.C. -- As President Hillary Rodham Clinton completes the first 100 days of her young if eventful presidency, on Wednesday, Gallup released a new poll showing that 91 percent of Americans "strongly approve" of her job performance.

Other remarkable results:

-- 92 percent of Americans agreed with the statement: "Americans elected the right person president in 2016, THANK FUCKING GOD!"

-- 88 percent of agreed or strongly agreed with the statement, "American democracy, the rule of law, and the Constitution are thriving under President Hillary Rodham Clinton." 

-- 91 percent of Americans told pollsters they have "never been less afraid of nuclear war."

"She's unbelievably popular. We've never seen numbers like this," said Gallup CEO Jim Clifton. 

Americans' swelling support for Clinton found real-world expression this week, as men and women across America threw pussy-hat parties to commemorate Clinton's historic inauguration in January, according to the New York Times. 

For the Clinton White House, Gallup's findings place a joyous exclamation point at the end of an already triumphant chapter characterized by impressive if hard-fought legislative accomplishments. 

In just over three months, Clinton has succeeded in raising the federal minimum wage to $12, ending college debt, shutting down the Dakota Pipeline, raising taxes on the wealthy, appointing former president Barack Obama to the Supreme Court, instating a no-fly zone above Syria, declaring America a "sanctuary nation," mandating paid parental leave, making public bathrooms gender neutral, welcoming hundreds of Syrian refugees to America, doubling the State Department's budget, celebrating science in schools, and strengthening the Voting Rights Act.

Her pursuit of sweeping Wall Street reforms surprised progressives, and after more than 30 years, her signature universal health care plan, Hillarycare, is at last poised to become law

Just months ago, historians were debating whether Clinton's presidency could make it into the "all time top five." Now, they're saying she's guaranteed a spot in the top three: "FDR, Lincoln, and Lyndon B. Johnson better watch out. She is coming for them," said Yale University's David Blight in an email.

Clinton's cabinet is the most diverse and knowledgeable in history, and American Muslims are attributing declining expressions of Islamophobia to Clinton's decision to select longtime aide Huma Abedin as her White House Chief of Staff.

What's next for the president? According to White House Press Secretary Leslie Jones, Clinton can't wait to see Kate McKinnon perform at this year's White House Correspondents Dinner

Senator Jeff Sessions urges America to cut ties with foreign land of Hawaii 

Senator Jeff Sessions urges America to cut ties with foreign land of Hawaii 

Clinton sends son-in-law Marc Mezvinsky to Iraq, Israel and North Korea

Clinton sends son-in-law Marc Mezvinsky to Iraq, Israel and North Korea