Hillary Beat Trump
Yo, Samantha Bee, where's our Pulitzer?

Yo, Samantha Bee, where's our Pulitzer?

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On Saturday, TBS's Samantha Bee delivered a 6-minute tribute to President Hillary Clinton that frequently borrowed headlines and even reporting directly from HillaryBeatTrump.org without attribution.

There are, of course, important differences between inadvertent rhyme, deliberate paraphrasing, and outright plagiarism.

While Samantha Bee is a giant of comedy, HillaryBeatTrump.org is the Internet's premier source of news about Hillary Clinton's presidency.

Google: "President Hillary Clinton." 

HillaryBeatTrump.org is the first search result. 

Did one of Samantha Bee's writers Google "President Hillary Clinton" before writing a segment about Hillary Clinton's presidency? 

The editors of HillaryBeatTrump.org have identified multiple instances in which Bee's speech bore uncomfortable resemblance to stories written by our staff. Great minds think alike, and some of the overlap, while both flattering and eyebrow-raising, is no doubt benign. 

It's important to note that Bee's speech contained a lot of wonderful original material, including her take-down of Bill O'Reilly and jokes about Clinton's private server.

Still, from our standpoint, it feels like the Bee has taken a lot of our honey.

So, it’s great that the press is dazzled!   And if you want more where that came from: Hillarybeattrump.org is going to keep covering the President Hillary Clinton.  We hope that Wolf Blitzer, Stephen Colbert and Donald Trump, as well as Samantha Bee keep turning to us for up to the minute analysis

You can see the entirety of Bee's speech about Clinton here.

Beneath, HillaryBeatTrump.org has transcribed that speech and annotated it with links to our archives.

Samantha Bee, “Not The White House Correspondents' Dinner, Pt. 8: Woman in the High Castle”


Thank you Madam President, distinguished members of the press. What a 2017 it’s been so far, huh guys? Hillary Clinton sworn in as president, The Patriots lost the Super Bowl, Lemonade won album of the year, and every print of La La Land spontaneously combusted.


1 “Elated, tearful girl scouts flood D.C. on even of Clinton’s historic inauguration…,” 1/19/2017, HillaryBeatTrump.org 

2 “Falcons win Super Bowl,” 8/2/2017, HillaryBeatTrump.org

3 “Beyonce deservedly beats Adele, sweeps Grammys,” 13/2/2017, HillaryBeatTrump.org


It’s been 100 days since President Clinton’s inauguration, and the start of her impeachment proceedings. Damn Paul Ryan, let a bitch take her hand off the Bible! I can say ‘bitch,’ right?” No, I’m being told no. Okay.


4 “GOP launches investigation into Hillary Clinton’s birth control,” 3/20/2017, HillaryBeatTrump.org

5 “Clinton accused of hiding aneurysm after being seen coughing in Rose Garden,” 2/13/2017, HillaryBeatTrump.org



For a week after President Clinton won, we all heard a loud buzzing noise. Either that was the sound of the whizzing bullet we just dodged, or it was Bill O’Reilly’s vibrator. And no, Reddit, President Clinton didn’t ‘disappear’ O’Reilly for telling the truth about her presidency. I can verify Bill O’Reilly is alive and well. He left me a long voicemail last night. It sounded like he was mixing custard while walking upstairs or something? Anyway, he’s fine. He sounded so relaxed by the end of the call.



I want everyone to please note that President Clinton is being served her meal by the same waiter as the rest of you. She does not have a private server. Which hasn’t stopped Jason Chaffetz from subpoenaing the entire kitchen staff. That dude is not going anywhere. Clinton is under so many investigations, I’m beginning to think FBI really does stand for “Female Body Inspector.”


6 “GOP launches investigation into Hillary Clinton’s birth control,” 3/20/2017, HillaryBeatTrump.org


I don’t want to say the Republicans were “hostile” during Clinton’s Address to Congress, but she’s the first president who had to walk up to the lectern with her keys between her knuckles.



Oh, quick announcement! Um: If anyone needs to go to the ladies room, go now. Hillary’s entire staff is here, so there’s going to be a long line.  Her cabinet is - yeah - her cabinet is 51 percent women, which provoked the first mass protest you could see from space. The Men’s March. Guys, learn to knit. It’s really not that hard. My 7-year-old can teach you.


7 “Clinton’s cabinet most diverse in history,” 1/21/2017, HillaryBeatTrump.org



During President Clinton’s first 100 days in office she’s focused on - well, I don’t know. She’s gotten a lot done. And I don’t know... It’s all really complicated and dull and I’m bored shitless. I almost feel like I rather have an idiot like Trump in charge, just for the excitement, but probably not...


8 “NYT pans Clinton’s press ‘oppressively intelligent press conference’ as ‘boring and too sane,’ 2/17/2017, HillaryBeatTrump.org: "No doubt, this is why polls show Clinton with a soaring approval rating among voters,"[said Megyn Kelly]. "But this is also why reporters hate her. No one wants to read about Clinton's excellence, professionalism and courage. They want to read about her enthusiasm problem, aneurysms, and female tendency to lie!"

9 “Fact checkers unionize under Clinton Administration,” 3/23/2017, HillaryBeatTrump.org“The American Fact Checkers Association (AFCA) held its first press conference on Thursday afternoon. Representing fact checkers from MSNBC, CNN, Politico, The New York Times, The Washington Post, and Fox News -- along with the entire staff of Politifact -- the union demands that media organizations allow journalists to continue reporting on failed presidential candidate Donald Trump.”



Clinton also raised eyebrows when she put her son-in-law Marc Mezvinsky in charge of in charge of brokering peace in the Middle East. Ho - I’m just kidding! How stupid would that be?  No, no. No.


10 “Clinton sends son-in-law Marc Mezinsky to Iraq, Israel and North Korea,” 4/27/2017, HillaryBeatTrump.org



I was of course surprised when she opened an embassy in Pyongyang. But then I saw who she appointed ambassador. Anthony Weiner is going to miss the Internet. Um…


11 “North Korea destroys ballistic missile stockpile, terrified by Clinton Administration’s sensible foreign policy,” 2/13/2017, HillaryBeatTrump.org“Indeed, State Department officials and region specialists like Feigenbaum attribute North Korea's thawing relationship with the United State to Jong-un's conflicted, if personally affectionate view of President Hillary Clinton, whose hair and wardrobe he appears to deeply admire.”

12 “Anthony Weiner switches to rotary phone,” 2/22/2017, HillaryBeatTrump.org“White House Press Secretary Leslie Jones told reporters President Hillary Rodham Clinton "has not spoken or talked to Weiner in years, and looks forward to never thinking about him ever again."



Bill Clinton is here. The First Gentleman has inherited Michelle Obama’s garden. Which is great. Because if there’s one thing we know about Bill, it’s that he loves hauling around and planting seeds. Because he is a vegan.


13 “Bill Clinton won’t stop emergency calling Michelle Obama with urgent questions about White House vegetable garden,” 27/1/2017, HillaryBeatTrump.org



But tonight is about journalism. It’s an honor to address the press: CNN, the New York Times, Trump TV. I mean, obviously Trump TV is not carrying this event live. But I’m sure he’ll have plenty to say about in the 8 o’clock hour of “This Morning Belongs to Us” with Steve Bannon and Kellyanne Conway.



In conclusion, Madam President, I want to say: Thank you. You may have your faults. But because of you, I can tell my daughters they can do anything, and that sexism won’t hold them back. The world will not magnify their faults and ignore their virtues because of their gender. That time has truly passed.


14 “Women of America feel…respected?,” 18/1/2017, HillaryBeatTrump.org: ““My daughter didn’t even know that women could be president - and now she won’t stop wearing her pantsuit to school and writing ‘President Sophie’ on all of her homework assignments!” noted Amanda, a 35-year-old mother from Philadelphia.” http://www.hillarybeattrump.org/home/2017/1/11/women-of-america-feel-respected

15 “Elated, tearful girl scouts flood D.C. on eve of Clinton’s historic inauguration,” 1/19/2017, HillaryBeatTrump.org“Janelle Mason, 7, said she was thrilled to see Clinton, "[her] feminist icon," ascend to the highest office in the land, especially since Clinton's own mother was born at a time when women did not have the right to vote.  "I know that Clinton can't single-handedly solve systemic rape in modern America, misogyny or inequality, but her election proves that with luck, impeccable honesty, courage, perseverance in the face of persecution, and unflagging hard work, a highly talented woman can achieve anything," Mason said.

16 “New York Times’ editor acknowledges paper’s ‘irrational hatred of Hillary Clinton’ has gotten out of hand, staff enters 12-step program,” 1/18/2017, HillaryBeatTrump.org


No hard feelings men. If there’s one message that echoes from this dinner, let it be that men’s rights are human rights. And human rights are men’s rights. Once and for all, thank you, God bless, and don’t forget to tip your waiter, James Comey.


17 “Lonely Comey kicked by pony,” 27/1/20017, HillaryBeatTrump.org

18 “Comey’s integrity rises to top spot on FBI’s most wanted list,” 4/6/2017, HillaryBeatTrump.org


Trump calls American slaves "bad negotiators"

Trump calls American slaves "bad negotiators"

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