Clinton signs quarter-trillion-dollar infrastructure plan
WASHINGTON D.C. -- In a major victory for Congressional Democrats and the Clinton Administration, on Tuesday, President Hillary Rodham Clinton signed a quarter-trillion-dollar infrastructure plan into law, thereby delivering on a major campaign promise.
"With this bill, we are investing in each other, fortifying the basis of our roaring economy, and securing our country's future prosperity," she said, as House Minority Leader Paul Ryan quietly sobbed in a corner of the Rose Garden.
"America's enemies have long intimated that Americans don't have the guts, political will, or vision to spend taxpayers' hard-earned money on building the infrastructure necessary for America to maintain its global economic dominance. Today is a rebuke to anyone who bet on 'American decline.' Thanks to the hard work of Speaker Nancy Pelosi, this infrastructure bill will lay the groundwork for the next American century," said a clearly elated Clinton, whose speech was met with wild applause.
According to White House Press Secretary Leslie Jones, the infrastructure bill will provide all American households with access to world-class broadband, allow for the construction of high speed rail networks, pay for updates to municipal water systems, and finance the construction of new bridges, roads, schools and hospitals throughout the country.