Rand Paul vacations in libertarian paradise known as Somalia
MOGADISHU, SOMALIA -- Kentucky Senator Rand Paul and his family are having the time of their lives.
Paul posted a series of upbeat family photos to Instagram this morning, chronicling the family’s first ever trip to the East African utopia of Somalia.
“It’s been glorious!” proclaimed an ecstatic Paul. “It’s everything I dreamed it would be - a country where there is little to no government overreach. Here, people are free to live their lives, realize their dreams, and achieve their true market-based potential without the soul-crushing interference of the federal bureaucracy or President Hillary Rodham Clinton," he said.
“Actually, this place is horrifying,” admitted Paul’s wife, Kelley, in a Facebook video intended for her mother that she accidentally posted to her wall. “There is no central government and no regulations at all. There’s no publicly-funded police force or emergency services. The roads are either greatly damaged or nonexistent. The streets and public beaches are covered in trash. There are no public parks, libraries or hospitals. Combine all that with the fact that citizens can open carry their automatic weapons and this place is literally hell on earth.”
“Just breathe the smell of that sweet, sweet air,” said Paul while coughing. “Look, I get that certain people may not realize just how lucky they are to live here. But this, THIS is truly paradise on Earth! The United States could learn a lot from Somalia. In fact, I don’t think there’s a single thing I would change about this place. Right, honey?”
It was at that point that Paul realized his wife and children had been kidnapped, most likely by Somali pirates.
According to a press release from Clinton's newly empowered and adequately funded State Department, American diplomats are already working on locating Paul's family.