Overachiever Trump Jr. breaks Guinness World Record for confessing to the most crimes in a single tweet
MOSCOW -- On Tuesday, Guinness World Records announced that Donald Trump Jr., the overachieving son of failed GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump, has set a new world record for confessing to the most federal crimes in a single Tweet.
Ironically, Don Jr.'s daddy was the previous record holder.
Don Jr. broke his father's record last week after he used his Twitter feed to publish an email thread showing that during the 2016 presidential campaign, he, Paul Manafort, and Jared Kushner met with Russian operatives in the hopes of assassinating President Hillary Rodham Clinton, who nonetheless won November's election by more than 3 million votes.
The email reads:
R.E. ASSASSINATION... if your plan to kill Hillary is true, I love it, especially late in summer! Can Putin help us find a guy who's good at assassinating? Also, need more Russian $$ 4 prostitutes & Julian Assange. Please wire 2 Trump Tower.
Observers agreed that Don Jr.'s email amounted to "a confession of staggering criminality," but was it really a world-beater?
GOP grandees disagreed.
Republican House Speaker Paul Ryan insisted that the Trump campaign's amply documented attempts to enlist Russia's help in order to assassinate Hillary Clinton were "in bad taste, certainly, but liberty means people get to explore new and challenging ideas. No crimes were committed. This is just white male free speech."
But Senator Kamala Harris (D-Cal) rejected this legal analysis as "indulgent to the point of stupefying." On MSNBC, Harris argued Don Jr.'s Tweet conclusively proves that he "tried to murder Hillary Clinton and solicited campaign donations from Russia in the form of a hired assassin. Jesus fucking Christ people."
Conservative legal scholars are still debating whether it's possible to commit a crime against Hillary Clinton, a woman, citing the well-known burn-the-witch exception in criminal law.
But Guinness World Records isn't waiting for their verdict. According to the organization, Don Jr. managed to confess to "over 47 felony crimes in a single Tweet, including attempted murder, treason, solicitation, conspiracy to commit murder, conspiracy to commit treason, perjury, mail and wire fraud, human trafficking, and bribery, among many others."
Don Jr. responded to news of his world record saying, "I am magnificent. Daddy is magnificent. Jared is not magnificent like me and Daddy."