President Hillary Rodham Clinton

Hillary Beat Trump

Hillary Rodham Clinton: America's 45th President.

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Clinton and Merkel achieve world peace by syncing menstrual cycles

Sep 1

Sep 1 Clinton and Merkel achieve world peace by syncing menstrual cycles

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Clinton announces she'll run for re-election in 2020

Jun 17

Jun 17 Clinton announces she'll run for re-election in 2020

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Fascists disappointed by robust state of American democracy

May 22

May 22 Fascists disappointed by robust state of American democracy

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Domestic Policy

Police declare ceasefire on black teens

May 5

May 5 Police declare ceasefire on black teens

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Domestic Policy

Innocent, law-abiding fifth graders disavow Trump comparisons: "That illiterate poopy-pants is nothing like us"

Sep 6

Sep 6 Innocent, law-abiding fifth graders disavow Trump comparisons: "That illiterate poopy-pants is nothing like us"

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Domestic Policy

Championing traditional family values, Clinton abolishes ICE. Meanwhile, GOP castigates her notorious "pro-baby" agenda

Jul 9

Jul 9 Championing traditional family values, Clinton abolishes ICE. Meanwhile, GOP castigates her notorious "pro-baby" agenda

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Domestic Policy

Paul Ryan abruptly quits speakership, vows to fight necrophilia charges involving Ayn Rand's corpse

Apr 18

Apr 18 Paul Ryan abruptly quits speakership, vows to fight necrophilia charges involving Ayn Rand's corpse

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Porn star admits to intellectually stimulating relationship with "long-term pen pal," Hillary Clinton

Apr 14

Apr 14 Porn star admits to intellectually stimulating relationship with "long-term pen pal," Hillary Clinton

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Trump calls on Congress to abolish history, citing its "strong pro-Hillary bias"

Dec 5

Dec 5 Trump calls on Congress to abolish history, citing its "strong pro-Hillary bias"

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Domestic Policy

After seven fucked up millennia of patriarchy, historians finally conclude men "aren't leadership material"

Nov 20

Nov 20 After seven fucked up millennia of patriarchy, historians finally conclude men "aren't leadership material"

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Sessions insists he was "blackout drunk" throughout 2016 campaign

Nov 15

Nov 15 Sessions insists he was "blackout drunk" throughout 2016 campaign

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Domestic Policy

Impassioned Clinton labels the NRA "America's leading domestic terrorist organization"

Nov 14

Nov 14 Impassioned Clinton labels the NRA "America's leading domestic terrorist organization"

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Domestic Policy

McConnell courageously calls on GOP to denounce pedophilia “once and for all,” denies pandering to youth vote

Nov 13

Nov 13 McConnell courageously calls on GOP to denounce pedophilia “once and for all,” denies pandering to youth vote

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Domestic Policy

Trump claims Manafort "can't get a fair treason trial in the U.S." due to "American jurors prejudice against traitors"

Nov 10

Nov 10 Trump claims Manafort "can't get a fair treason trial in the U.S." due to "American jurors prejudice against traitors"

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Russian officials admit that colluding with the "inept" Trump campaign was “extremely challenging"

Nov 10

Nov 10 Russian officials admit that colluding with the "inept" Trump campaign was “extremely challenging"

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“Irony” calls on Trump to stop Tweeting about Hillary Clinton, saying: “I need a break”

Oct 31

Oct 31 “Irony” calls on Trump to stop Tweeting about Hillary Clinton, saying: “I need a break”

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Domestic Policy

Noted conspiracy theorist Sean Hannity finally refers to Hillary Clinton by her official job title: President of the United States

Oct 31

Oct 31 Noted conspiracy theorist Sean Hannity finally refers to Hillary Clinton by her official job title: President of the United States

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Comey says he's learning "a lot" from Mueller about investigating "actual crimes"

Oct 30

Oct 30 Comey says he's learning "a lot" from Mueller about investigating "actual crimes"

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Domestic Policy

In secret diary, Mueller confides feelings of professional unhappiness, wishes for “more challenging” job

Oct 30

Oct 30 In secret diary, Mueller confides feelings of professional unhappiness, wishes for “more challenging” job

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Domestic Policy

Public bewildered after Trump calls Harry Potter his "favorite living American"

Oct 27

Oct 27 Public bewildered after Trump calls Harry Potter his "favorite living American"

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